


The Fault In My Aim

by mermaidaupls, RoryMazcock, technicalOctavian



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Armpit Kink, Daddy Kink, Dress Up, F/F, Furry, Nipple Clamps, Puella Magi Madoka Magica AU, Strap-Ons, catholic school girl! homura, character deveploment i promise, punk! madoka, this is supposed to be bad, why madoka like this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-09
Updated: 2014-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-12 09:55:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2105358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mermaidaupls/pseuds/mermaidaupls, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoryMazcock/pseuds/RoryMazcock, https://archiveofourown.org/users/technicalOctavian/pseuds/technicalOctavian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tf when  no gf, but then u piss on a catholic school and show off your band and maybe gf?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Worst Person I know

**Author's Note:**

> sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> madoka is a dick

It was twelve at night and I was smoking a drag when I saw a fine chick.

I was like "Damn twilight zone," I nudged my Mami-senpai, "Yo check it," I say pointing to the pretty lady.

"What are you doing here?" The fine thang said, with her deep calming voice as her pools of purple eyes looked through my soul, and hopefully my clothes.

I felt my nipples wiggle with anticipation.

The dark haired beauty saunters her way over to me, Mami-senpai glares at me briefly, then double checks the hot lady of the night and nods in agreement.

"You can't smoke here, it's a school." She says with a voice so deep I wanna see if I can make it go higher.

Wait, maybe not I think as she continues bitching, it's actually really annoying, wow please stop speaking I just wanna touch your tits.

"I do what I want." I said as I stomp out my cig. "And what I want," I paused, lookin' over that sweet body, "Is you."

The violet eyed hunny stares at me, mouth agape, leaving view to pearly white, strangely formed teeth, that I would like to wrap my tongue around.

"That's..." she mutters, face red. "Indecent." Obviously she's very affected by my charms.

"You wanna see indecent?" I say with a grin, as I drop my ripped jeans and stained underwear.

Mami-roonie shakes her head as she watches me take a piss on the side of the school building, in the shape of "ur hot"

The girl's eyes widen as she tries to speak a few times and failing before she says, "H-Homura."

She ran off, her cute behind swaying with every step.

Mami-senpai grimaces at me and says, "You're gross, honestly, and I don't know why I am friends or even 'acquaintances' with you."

I nod and chuckle as I button my jeans, remembering in middle school when I tried to pierce my nips in the school bathroom.

Mami-jami came in and was all like, "You dumb hoe, at least use somethin' that's not a thumb tack." and then pulls out her arsenal of safety pins. And so I was all like, "Yoooooooooooooooo good plan mate." and she was all like "Never say that again."

Yeah,good times.

 

I started walking towards Kyoko's garage for band practice.

Kyoko had said earlier that she was inviting one of her friends, and the only chance that I was gonna give them was a chance to suck my dick.

I pull a bag of cheetos out of my jacket pocket and gestured to Mami-salami "Yo you want some?"

Mami-salami glared, "Look,here's cheeto dust all over your shirt and piss on your jeans, your aim ain't as good as you think it is. Go take a shower."

I shrug, "But think of all the cats I'm attractin' with this scent."

Mami-tootin'nanny walked away from me because obviously I'm too hot to handle and I don't catch up with her until we get to Kyoko's 'Cause damn she walk fast like some sort of energetic soccer mom at three in the morning walkin' downtown to get some Starbucks.

Once I walk into the garage, where our shitty band plays in a palce with even shittier interior, I look towards that corner that I once shat on Kyoko's dog in, and there the hot thang was, as smokin' as always.

 

She was sitting with her legs crossed and her head hung low, she must'a been embarrassed.

I smoothly slid over to her and pulled out a strand of her and started flossing with it, to get the leftover cheetos out because I can't have her see that, that would be embarrassing.

"Hey sugar hips." I say with a strand of her beautiful hair wrapped around my left incisor. she lightly rubs her head and repeatedly muttering "why"

Homura then turns around to face me and says, "What're you ?-didn't you piss on my school? Why did you pull out my hair and why are you flossing with it?!"

I blink, "...Why are you so obsessed with me?"

"I'm not and you smell like piss." she says coldly.  
"Are you a cat? Because the only thing that this scent attracts is pussssssyyyyyy!"  
I see Mami-senpai across the room, wearing a look that says 'Do not, floss your teeth with other peoples hair.

It's a very particular look, I get it from her often.

I just flip her off and look back down at the butter pecan cream of my heart.  
"Soooo, it's Homura, right? That's hot. Sounds exotic."

Homura glares up at me with purple orbs "That's kinda fetishistic to foreign women."

"uhhh," I say awkwardly.

She continues to glare at me, I fold my hands in my lap, "Sorry, it won't happen again." I say genuinely.

She nods. "Kay, but about the piss." I mention.

She cringes, "It's gross. Go take a shower."

I look down and clench my fists, "dicksquad." I whisper.

I take off my pants and throw them in the shit corner, "Now watch me slam dunk." I say full of womanly pride.

I swag over to the microphone and press it closely to my lips - like really close - I seductively look over to Homura and make intimate eye contact with her.

I glide my tongue against the microphone leaving a slimy snail trail of saliva against it. tastes like metal,Cold and hard like my childhood.

I keep deep eye contact with Homura as I show off my talents by deepthroating the microphone all the way down to my trachea.

It's almost as if we are the only beings in the room, but we aren't, actually there's a lot of people in the room.

I remember this as Mami-senpai shouts me back into reality, "What the actual fuck Madoka! that's a new microphone!"  
Mami-killjoy walks over to me and pulls it out of my mouth and it drags against my teeth, making a loud clanking noise.

I wipe the drool from my mouth, "Okay like I was kinda doing a really sexy thing here so if you could kindly hop off my dick please?"

Kyoko comes up behind me and puts her arm around me, laughing. she smells like burritos.

Homura comes in and suddenly band practice is fun again. She like a fuckin' swifter duster comin' in here makin' everything fresh af.

Homura stares at Kyoko incredulously, "Alright, well I've only been here for twenty minutes and I've already had my hair plucked out and used as floss by a strange pantless woman who strongly smells like piss. So, thanks Kyoko, for this wonderful experience, but I have to be going now."

I watch as the hot school girl ass turns away from me, away from my sweet dick.

"Homura,don't go baby." I desperately call out to her.

She turns back to face me swiftly, her black locks flowing around her like tentacles from weird hentai that I sometimes watch for recreational activity.

She looks down, her eyes as clear as the day my father left me. "Why would you want me to stay?" she says, her voice wavering. I paused and look into her truthful, Special, eyes.

"I..." So many thoughts come into my mind like "Damn your booty fly and I wanna be on you like apple pie"

But instead I say,"I, yeah, I think you're hot" Homura blushes red.

"Oh..." she says and looks away.

They finna fuck" I hear Kyoko whisper loudly to Mami-bro and I then hear Mami-bro sigh in despair.

 

I move in on Homura like she some sort of sexy gazelle with a broken leg and I'm some sorta crazy cannibalistic gazelle and I'm gonna gobble her up like the fresh apple pie she is.

"Can i get your number?" I say leaking charisma like some gross charisma water park.

"Well, you just used my hair as floss so I'm gonna have to decline that offer." she says and leaves just like that, I don't stop her this time.

"So" I say, turning to Kyoko "You Have her number?"


	2. Slap Ass Giddy Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madoka comes for Homura, stays for bologna

"Yeah" she says and pulls out her phone, and so I got the digits.

I saved the contact in my phone as 'sweet ass chick'.

Later I'm home and I decide to send her a message. I think long and hard about this message (sorta like my dick but that's irrelevant).

I think of her long lushious black hair that's always separated at the ends, which is weird as fuck, but it's definitely not something I wanna lose.

She like the last slice of pizza, I'd do anything to have her.

I muster up the courage and send her a message.

_ayyy it madoka ;)_

**_How did you get my number?_ **

_bi chance_

**_No, really, how did you get my number?_ **

_i no a local vender 4 numbrs of prety gurlz_

**_That sounds innacurate and also highly illegal._ **

_ilegal like yo smokin bod_

**_What do you want?_ **

_i wont u an ur bootiful sole_

**_Can you compliment me in a way that's not weird or creepy?_ **

_i lik ur nose_

I send the message with a grin, then reread it and scream, "fuck, what the fuck am I saying?"

and throw my shitty stolen iPhone across the room.

I reach under my bed and pull out my laptop, looking up her name on Facebook.

I decide I'll just make the creepy nose comment up to her by showing up to her house unexpectedly baring flowers and my sweet charm, both of which the ladies love.

I find her with ease and read up on her bio, it reads "You gave me an infinity within a number of days, and I'm forever thankful."

Okay what the fuck that's deep as shit.

I quickly find her address with the IP tracker. I show up at her house around 2 p.m.

I ring the doorbell about five times. Finally her mom answers.

"Who are you?" her mom asks inquisitively.

"Madoka," I say proudly, "You'll remember it because yo daughter gonna be screamin' it _all night_."

Her mom smiles at me. "Come in." She says.

I make a beeline to their fridge and pull out some bologna, while her mom calls down bae.

Homura makes it downstairs and glares at me with murderous intent.

"What are you doing here?" She asks, her question full of disappointment.

Who would be disappointed to see me? I'm a party.

"I brought flowers."

I say in between slices of bologna, and point to the counter where I sat them down.

"How'd you find me?" She asks curiously.

" _By chance_ ," I answer smoothly while sticking my finger through the bologna, just like I'm gonna stick my finger through her peehole.

"Did you track me?" she asks, separating me and my beautiful bologna.

" _By chance._ " I say mysteriously. I slide against the wall seductively while shoving more bologna into my mouth.

"Madoka, why are you eating all of my bologna."

"You wanna ride _this_ bologna pony?" I'm talking about my dick.

She opens her mouth to answer but then in walks her mom like she owns the place or some shit.

"Hey Homura Isn't this girl You've been talking about? She seems lovley, such a deep fondness for lunch meats."

Homura's cute lil face gets more red than than that gross marinara sauce I once threw up in in my neigbors pool.

"Mom!" She shouts "I _don't_ talk about her! she's gross and eating all our sandwich meats!"

Her mom looks genuinely confused.

"But you were talking about how you wanted to eat her up like Parmesan chicken just the other day-"

" _Mom!_ -" I watch them quarrel for a bit because it is interesting, and Homura is very cute frustrated but I really need to cut to the chase so I can get going.

"Hey, Babe wanna see my band play foreal?" I cut in.

She turns way from her mom,(who scampers away when she's not looking)still red in the face.

"Will it involve deep-throating?" she asks flatly.

"Maybe."

She frowns a lil, Its more of weird smirk like twitch thing, Oddly cute.

I pick the flowers off the counter and hold them out to her.

"Got you some flowers,reminded me of you because they're like, beautiful and so are you"

Homura just stares "And like, this one kinda looks like a vagina."

she looks as if shes contemplating puting them in the garbage disposal.

Suddenly I get a text , I feel a vibrating near my fuckhole, Because I have a weird hole in my pocket and when my phone vibrates all up on my vag.

I open the message and its from Mami-fanny, It reads 'You're fucking up right now aren't you?'

I reply with the dick pumping emoji, tastefully. She aint shit.

I look back up at black beauty, like that one freaky horse movie.

"Who's that?" Homura asks pointedly, sounding, almost jealous?

I grin, "oh you know just texting my main." Main like horse mane like I wanna fuck your horse ass and ride her cute pony butt to the water bank, slap ass giddy up.

"I bet," Homura says sarcastically.

"Dont worry babe you're my fav."

She wraps a strand of hair round her finger, _god_ I wish I was that finger.

"mhm, well I can't really tell the difference between an eight minute farting video and your band so I'm Not quite sure if I'll make it."

I hold my hand to my heart "Baby I'm wounded."

" I would hope so."

I wink "You make me clench."

She kicks me out.


	3. The One That Ends With A Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madoka bathes, this alone is startling

I walk into my house where tatsuya is the first to greet me, "Madokas hoooooooome!" He wails,a frat boy at heart.

"My boy," I say and push him by his puny 6 year old head, so malleable and useless.

"Can you open this?" He asks nicely, holding a cup out to me.

"Yeah sure with my _diiiick_." Tatasuya just stares.

Oh yeah he's six, Doesn't grasp basic humor yet.

"No but really I cant, I dropped out of school."

Tatsuya crosses his arms and pouts. He, opens his big pissbaby mouth and shit hes gonna rat me-

 _"Mooooooomma!_ Madoka said you were a dumb ass hoe!"

I turn to him quickly, seething with rage the cheating motherfuckin cunt-carousel of ass licking- what a lil _bitch_.

I quickly run up to my room before mom can bitch me out.

I throw myself on my bed, Cheetos fly everywhere.

I push my head in my pillows, everything smells strongly of body odor.. _.gross_.

I'm in the middle of angsting and feeling bad for myself ina pool of teenage hormones when my phone goes off on my dresser and I see it's Homura messaging me

I almost fall off my bed in shock and my fingertips scrape the floor as I scramble to get up. I pick it up, and the message reads,

**_When is your band playing?_ **

I think of her black hair clashing with white. She'd look so beautiful in a wedding dress. I want her to be mine, my protector, my friend, _my lover at the darkest hour of night_.

I pick myself up and try to get composed enough to reply. I'm so fine.

_9 pm at tha daggerhouse ;)_

**Okay, also your nose is fine, I guess.**

I fist bump with my dick.

I run over to my closet to pick out something as fresh as fuck.

I throw around scraps of clothing that reek slightly of piss and cat food. 

I don't even own a cat.

I should get a cat.

I grab my ripped tye dye tights, and throw them on the bed, along with some shorts, three tank tops all varying in size, and my leather jacket along with my varsity one.

Fresh. As. Fuck.

I'm gonna look fly as hell I think as I grab my towel and head to the bathroom.

That's right my bi-weekly shower is today.

I hop in and rub some of that bar soap shit into my hair as my shitty pink dye runs all over my body and all over my shower as well.

I scrub my vag and ass real well just in case I get some wild sex in during this.

I get my clothes on and poke at my hair before I decide it already looks as hot as can be.

I mean, I could could like, brush it _but..._

I take out my phone and text Mami-veryclammy to let her know I'm ready to leave.

She don't text me back 'cause she a bitch like that but she walks in ten minutes later.

 _"AYYYYYYYYY!"_ I yell out to my best bro bud senapi dude.

She high fives me and we slam our hot asses together in greeting, hers is so big though I sort of get thrown on the ground by it.

"Damn", I say picking myself of the ground, "Your ass like the Russian army or some shit."

She looks over at me as I sit up.

"What in the _ever loving fuck_ are you wearing oh my god."

I frown, "What?" She snickers, " _Giiirl_ you look like some shitty Disney show director dressed you."

"No I don't!" I shout defensively, "I look fresh as hell!"

Mami- _stickinthemud_ grimaces at me, "Yeah no, I'm serious. You should go change, you're going to embarrass our band."

"No." I mutter walking out the door and towards her car.

"You're just worried that girls are going to understand with this outfit that _I eat ass_ and you don't."

"No I am just worried someone will run us over when we are crossing the street because they'll mistake you for a disgusting come monster..." She trails off, Wow, what a bitch ass dick smell.

We roll the windows down and sing shitty songs.

Mami-hammy complains about how off key I am during Funky Town so I spit in her lap and she gets pissed at me.

We get there and I immediately go to find Homura. I walk up into the club like what up I got a big cock-and no shit that's a thing.

Anyways I found the room where everyone's chilling and i look and see homura sitting uncomfortably on a dirty stained couch, covered in cigarette burns and what smells like cat piss.

I can hear harsh panting and weird moan noises accompanied by the floor boards creaking behind the couch homura is on.

I raise my eyebrows "oh are they fucking in here?"

Homura nods and rushes over to me and grabs my arm, obviously needing my protection from the weird lesbian sex happening on the floor.

"Get some!" I yell as we leave and slam the door shut.

We bump into someone on the way out, they smell like milk. Weird.

I take her outside the warehouse and we sit on the sidewalk, I pull a cig out of my jacket pocket and stick it between my teeth while reaching for my lighter.

"You want one?" I ask, polite and shit. Homura crinkles her nose.

" Do you know how bad those are for you?"

I stare blankly at her, confused.

"It's a metaphor."

"Are you really quoting The Fault In Our Stars at me?"

I panic , shit. "Uh.."

"I thought you liked deep shit like that," I mutter.

"No ..." she shakes her head, cute black splaying over her red glasses, I just wanna push it behind her ear.

"And i mean you've already lit the cigarette so.."

I squint at her " _Piss on me_."

Homura scoffs but doesn't move away, as usual.

I mean it could be because I'm the only person she knows who's not banging someone into an unforgiving hard floor right now but...probably not. She wants me.

"So when's your band going to play?"

"When Mami calls me."

"Okay." She says and looks down and racks her feet against the pavement. cute shit.

Her hair looks really pretty and i kinda wanna wrap my fingers in the strands tightly for prolonged amounts of time until my fingertips turn blue as they lose circulation and then need to amputated and then ill wrap them up in a nice box and leave them on her doorstep with a bow on top and the she'll fall in love with me and-oh shes talking.

"And so now i haven't ever eaten spaghetti since last Christmas." she finishes.

I turn to face her and suddenly our faces are super tight,tight like skinny jean tight.

Her eyes flicker to my lips so i part them slightly, I don't know who leans in first but suddenly were nose to nose. I tilt my head and brush my lips against hers just when my phone rings.


	4. I Thought Dick Rock Could Be Our Always

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seeds Of Grief preforms, Kyoko breaks her arm and Madoka has feelings

Her face is red as I help her up like motherfuckin gentleman and we walk into the daggerhouse holding hands.

I see Mami-pinanni setting up the mic and testing it.

Kyokos working on her drums and she like, reeks of sex and looks like it too, her hair is down in tangles like she got in a fight with a large cat human hybrid and also kinda like shes had her face under a running sink for awhile. Gross, I give her a thumbs up anyways.

I wink at sayaka when she notices, she huffs and turns away. I pick my guitar up and strum it,like I'm gonna strum homuras heart.

Theres a lot of screaming and bad instrument playing and at some point Kyoko manages to stage dive but falls and hurts her arm.

She says it's chill but it kinda looks like a large,cockeyed nipple monstrosity. Expect it's an arm and not its a nipple at all why did I say nipple.

The crowds clearing out and were packing up when walks up to me

"Hey." She says casually but doesn't make eye contact with me. "What'd ya think of our band?" I ask, grinning.

She smiles and adjusts her red frames. "It was alright,"

"Great then do you want this band Shirt because like I made it for your hot bod and like uh-"

suddenly some one loudly and fucking rudely interrupts by clearing their throat.

They step up onto the stage and they can't be taller than 4'11 maybe, with weird ass white and pink hair and creepy heart shaped aviators.

They smile so widely I wonder how far I could stick my foot down their throat. "

Hello I'm Kuybey and I quite like your shitty pieced together band."

They have a creepy accent, it makes my dick shrivel up.

"Yeah?" Kyoko says, holding a beer in her non-deformed arm.

"What you want kid? An Autograph in my period blood?" They don't stop smiling even for a fuckin second.

"That would't interest me in the slightest,No."

_creepy._

"But, What _would_ is if you would to enlist me as your manager, I could get you all quite far if you're willing to contract with me."

Mami-wammy pushes her way through me and Homura up to the front with Kyoko.

"Woah, Woah are we talking legal documents here?"

kyubey tilts their head. " Well, you actually look capable, whats Your name? are you head of the band?"

Head of the band more like head up her fuckin ass.

"Yes, I'm Mami And-"

"Okay but like on second thought I think I should go to the hospital because my arm is totes broke."

Kyubey quickly turns their head to Kyoko like some some sort of creepy blood thirsty owl.

" _I do not_ care."

"This kid is cold As Fuck oh my god." I whisper to Homura,she nods uncomfortably.

"Yeah Alright you guys can get going,I'll stay here and talk to them." Mami-Flammy says distracdly, shooing us.

"Sayaka take Kyoko to the hospital or whatever And madoka and Homura go Bang or something." She orders.

We listen to her (Because she wont give me rides if i don't) Once we separate from  Kyoko and Sayaka I Grab Homuras hand and pull her off to the side.

"What are you doing?" She asks but lets me pull her around. Pull her around like a dog on a collar like a sexy dog person with a tail butt plug in their ass and like barking and peeing on stuff -wait what.

" _Maodka_!"

"Yeah?"

"I said, where are you taking me?"

"I wanna show you somethin'." I whisper, but I don't really know why I'm whispering at all like that's a really weird thing to do in the middle of the night in secluded forest-like area and probably really creepy actually wow.

"This is a long walk Madoka It had better be cool."

" _It is_ babe,It's like totally fuckin and awesome and like-Hey wait did you ever say you wanted that shirt becuase like-"

"Yes I put it in my back back already."

This is so gay what the fuck my face feels so hot and like this is gross wow I wanna touch her face and DIE IN HER ARMS AND SNIFF HER HAIR AND THEN STRANGLE MYSELF WITH IT WHILE SHE SINGS ME CELINE DION SONGS OH MY GOD WHY and oh shit were here.

I motion my hand to the creek

"We here."

"This is... A pretty creek? Thanks...?"

She looks unnamed. "Nooooooo," I say mooting to the prize, the pinnacle of humor, The dick rock. It's a rock, shaped like a penis, this is prime humor here. A real prize.

She aint even smiling what the fuck.

"What?" does she not see the rock in the shape of phallus right in front of her, this is Hilarious.

"Dick rock,do you not see the Dick rock??"

"I do but I mean..." What the fuck this is fuckin dick rock how can she neutral about this I'm baring my soul to her with this rock I never show anyone...I thought dick rock could be our always...

"Well," I sigh, disappointing. "I really thought you would find this cooler so like..."

Homura cocks her head "Wait, so you didnt take me out here to make out?"

"No? But I mean if you wanna I'm Dow-"

She grabs me by jacket and pulls my mouth harshly onto hers It kinda hurts and our teeth hit together and make a chalk grating sound but my mouth is full of cute girl so I'm Not gonna complain.

We Makeout for like 20 but then she mentions she needs to get home soon so I start to walk her home all chivalrous and shit.


End file.
